Baptism Again. Goodbye the last of the sticky self.

Today was my third baptism in water. I have very seldomly felt the way I do now. I really to be honest with you feel very at level. Almost at Zenith of what God has called me to. I upon listening to a word given to me realize that I have had the grace and the love from God to do the things I have needed I simply was afraid because I believed more in my hands then in the hand of God. I feel at a stand still in my life like I need to be doing something but that thing has yet to be clear. I remember hearing a saying that said. "Many times we look for a new horse to tend when the old is running ragged and has not been washed" In otherwords maybe I am not moving forward because issues of the past have yet to have been dealt with. I thought for a moment what an awful God. Then realized that in his nature he does not want to pile us with more than we can handle so we must deal with the things that God has told us before we can continue into the new of what God can or as we sometimes thing GOd should give us. This is what the Baptistm was for. I came to the Baptism as a spectator dressed in my clothes. And as the Baptism opened I felt the lord as GO! GO in. I asked "Why" The lord showed me through the prothetic that the old tools were no longer working. I thought about the old tools. Rusted many times old tools can cause more pain than good and many times using old messed up rusted tools can make a task take twice as long as it should normally. The tools that I am using the way that I have aphttp://livingforjesus.blogspot.com/proached the things of my life are not benificial at all for me. The lord has rebirth a desire to do away with the old and embrace the new. As in our walks daily we all must. In my wretched self that I would like to always think more highly of than I ought. I think how simple all of this might have been if I would have taken these steps before. Then I also realize and know that God knows what I am going to do before I do it. I do not have a cruel task master but a kind loving and authorative father that must have his will before my own. My true happiness relies on it and so does my salvation. God has always had the door opened for the change but my desire to do business as usual was far easier. Sometimes I do believe that is a lie from the enemy himself. I look back and think how much easier it might have been If I would have just listened to you from the start Lord. Ahhh...God is the God of Second third and forth chances but there is only ONE life and after that there is no more. The truth hurts.