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It reminds me of the Psalms of David we are hanging on every word from our father and heaven and any other move would seem almost ludicrous.
This is where we find our Oasis of rest sometimes. Then we find ourselves passing through the storm and once again relying on our preference, feeble philosophy, the world, and deceiving emotions.
Any person who is hurting will tell you that trust is hard to find. Its hard to give and more importantly sometimes hard to receive if you've never been given it before.
Trust is like a very fragile french porcelain egg. If you've tripped before you usually never are given the chance to hold it again. In many ways you do not trust yourself and disqualify yourself for the prize altogether if its offered to you again. We are indeed our worst enemy.
Enter his word and we find that trust is not only given to us but we are freely allowed this trust that comes with saving grace. It's intrusted to us as a prize or a gift not earned on merit and we are hit with this shock of sorts that we are reverted back to religiosity and how can earn the love our father in heaven and his trust more?
It's reflected in our relationship to our father in heaven as it is with our relationships on earth as we earn our love from our friends we also desire to earn our love from our father on earth as well.
It's a unending circle that in all honesty cannot be broken unless some revelation other that our own comes our way because our own will drive us in the same direction. It's like asking for direction to yourself. Chasing your own tail. Driving in a car with one wheel asking why your going in circles, taking your own advice and finding your in the same place. It's sounds silly but isn't this what we do?
I worked more than a few years with disabled children and desire to do it once more again but when that season comes I will be ready. One of the first things they teach you when you learn to work with disabled children is not to give-in to entitlement. That entitlement is dangerous and can hinder the growth of a child who is growing in their abilities. It was difficult for me to understand but I see where this issue is not only in working with disabled people but also in dealing with people in general. Even yourself.
A sense of entitlement brings us to a place of not wanting to earn our place but simply expected it on on merit but on position or perhaps in inpostion. It almost seems in direct opposition to just be what I said but it is not. Let me explain. Entitlement is bad but can also be good. Seldom it is good but there are things we can be entitled to. Earn without merit given without trust.
It's almost as if that word has become taboo or bad whereas lust has become acceptable but intimacy has become the new 8 letter word. It makes sense though because the one thing that were being called to daily is slowing becoming the thing we are driven away from. It's here where you can get hurt. It's here where you can loose your trust. It's here that if you are hurt you will grow an entitlement complex. Where the world owes you everything because you have been so painfully hurt. Our solution becomes attention. However we can get it. The only way to replace true intimacy is to keep yourself doing all the wrong things. If we busy ourselves with others faults and our own bodies and desires surely we can get recognition for at least having a need. Sometimes we just buy things. Sometimes we get into complex relationships which leave us making the same mistakes but keep us away from the Big "I" word. What is it you need. What can you bring to his kingdom. Intimacy becomes scary. It becomes like an old letter seldom read but when read tears flow then it is tucked away for safe keeping until you need to "feel" again. In our worship Intimacy becomes a moment of time where we finally see the face of God. Then we also see how feeble we are and we close the door again. Intimacy makes it easy for us to love others because we are knowledgeable of who we are and how we feel. When we are in touch with God's heart we are closer to our own heart and therefore we can love others more genuinely.
Here is where it all hits. Now most people will say. I don't go to church. I don't even believe in God. Well your ministry is your children, your family, friends and maybe even someone who's ask you to help them in life. Actually for the Christian the very same. Ministry is where we let go of these things. Putting our Trust in God is really the only way to walk from point 1 to point 2. An Atheist will tell you (I was once one) that you can deal with your issues and problems "without God" but with knowledge and wisdom. I do believe that dealing with them you can. However to remove them and to help others your philosophy will only take you so far. You can not remain accountable because you have basically made yourself the accountability post. Without God. There is little hope for any other revelation than yourselves. You have nothing to offer but yourself and when you start going in circles because the leash or chain of your mortality keeps you from moving forward you'll make another excuse. With God we have no excuse for not moving forward, no excuse for not forgiving, no excuse for not loving and more importantly no excuse for not being intimate.
Intimacy is the key to a good relationship. To be intimate with God is difficult if you can not see yourself for who you are. If you have to not comes to terms with fallibility and you have not taken yourself from your stage. Then and only then God can come in and change. He can bring something new because you have not filled your bowl full of self. When you fill yourself with him you begin to live for others and love others. Unlike Religion we can actually have INTIMACY with our King. When that happens far beyond his word we gain revelation from reading it. No longer just a sword but it also becomes a source of healing for others. It becomes a refreshing oasis of water. It becomes refreshing for others and we bring life to others, ourselves and those around us.
Intimacy unlocks the chains of pain, and guilt. When we have Intimacy with God and not just people we can actually have a place to put our burdens we cannot share with the world. We have a place to rest our pain on and then we can being to live life. Life no longer becomes a burden it becomes a joy. Even in the darkest of pain our perspective is no longer our own. When it happens circumstances do not get in the way of our love, or our happiness and joy over throws our fleshly happiness.
Trust effects our Intimacy. When we feel we have not gained relationship or a false relationship we feel we are Entitled. This will overall effect in the end our Ministry and how we love others. We will feel we have to earn or others have to earn their place when as a Christian you NEVER earned your place. As a person unsaved I can tell you this. My heart goes out to you that more than words are shared here but BIBLE saturated love would come from this. That a love and intimacy would overcome your life. I understand the pain that others in the faith and even myself have caused others no different than the pain I caused others as an Atheist. One thing I can promise is this. God will never treat you this way. If you put your trust in him. You will no longer have the Entitlement of the world but of a Kings daughter or Son. Intimacy will be a great gain with the most amazing and precious God you could ever imagine. Your Ministry will become his and in him. Your Ministry will no longer be about being recognized or even loved but to LOVE and you will then Find the Love of the Father. Because he first loved you then you also will love others.
God is so Good. His love is extravagant and overwhelming and your hearts will be mended. In Ministry we sometimes forget this great Gift. We get stuck in the to dos and forget such amazing love as this. We can get stuck and start loving people in moments and simply to put in a card for the day. Like clocking into work. This is why some who meet with the Kings kids sometimes are not impressed. Its that we have lost the Intimacy with our Father.
Today Christians...Seek more Intimacy with your Father God. For those who do not know. I am sorry for those I might have hurt and I come in apology for those who hurt you in the name of a such an amazing God. God is good. His Gospel is amazing! Don't let anyone put restrictions on God. Read his word and pray and seek his face.