When all has been said and done what will I have but the truth of my Testimony. The Truth that God does love and take care of those whom he loves. It is not a secret group that can only be taken part of in some secret society of sorts. All it takes is faith. What a twisted thing we as humans on earth have made it to be. For the Glory of God is in his Glory not mans perception of it. Our desire to see his face will results in seeing it. Our love for him and not our life will leave us not weary but inpowered by his power and in love by his love. The wonderful joy he brings even in darkeness is my testimony. The love he brings into our life when the pain is far to hard to bare. It is amazing just as I type this how my Father in heaven speaks to me. How he holds my hand. His hand seems to hover over me in kindness and authority. As I sit her typing because I was awoken by a voice. "Worship me my son." In this my voice from sickness has left me with no voice but a heart that wishes to worship him in word. Ohh Father how powerful your name how loving your voice. How comforting your hand that sits upon me. Hold me sweet Jesus in your hand let me now fall into your arms. You give me a place to sleep to rest in your Glory. Fitting only for a King. A Prince or a Princess. It is now that I truly feel a child of God. In my poetry that solomley points out a Godly pain in my heart for those who cannot hear because the cries of the world are far too loud. The ringing in their ears leaves blood on the lobe of their ear. Deafness to God because because their protection they have rejected. Father thank you for my protection. Daily I am reminded how I have not chosen you but you chose me. How at one time I found no need or desire for you to be a part of my life. Thank you Lord for coming in a way to put that foolishness to rest. Foolishness that would have left me in control and a very dismal life indeed I would have. It is though becasue of your Glory that my life is full of Joy even in darkness. Even in pain the writhes of my soul that the soul is intact that in the Joy I do not forget that of what you have asked of me. WOrsip me you say father and with a weak voice I attempy to belt our a verse or two. "I could sing of your love forever...." I can't hit that key. "Be Glorified...." Slightly easier. I end my attempt in tearing my throat apart even more and realize that he has heard my heart and knows my heart. For that voice rings louder than my voice ever will and it is in my desire to see him that I will. My faith in him that he has faith in me. Though I he does not require it. For even when I have become faithless he remains forever faithful. I could continue this but I have been given great comfort and now like the very first day I accepted the Name of Jesus into my heart as my LIVING savior that has come and died so that I might be set free. So that I might be filled with Glory and show other of th greatness that is him. For my voice might be lost or at least damaged but my soul is intact and it has NOTHING to do with me. My heart is well and that has nothing to do with me. All signs should point to depression and though that may be one pain that I am feeling I have been given the grace not to feel it. Though my time to GRIEVE may come soon. My father has given me the ability to choose the way in which my pain will come. He knows what I can take and what I cannot. He has provided ALL of my needs though I am not what you would call a rich man. I seem to have more that I need. I seem to have comfort and friends more than one might need. Though many have run for cover in the name of Jesus himself. I know the day will come when Jesus himself will speak one day on my behalf. If he has not already and though he may not or never will. I need no justification. I need no comfort in the storm. I need only the comforter and the one who brings comfort. So many desire to seek out peace or rest but have forgotten to get to know the one who brings all of those things. A life of perfection I do not have. A life that has no pain. I do not have. A life that is FULL I do have. Thank you father. I will indeed worship you.
Your Son, James.
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