Blind for a Bit. Status Q.

Okay so the storm has seemingly passed and as I waited for it to past I realized a few important lessons. First being blind is no fun and puts you into a very venerable postion of simply trusting others as well as yourself. I also realized that this is how most without Christ live. Trusting in others and in themselves. Hopeing they are doing the right thing. I also learnt that my life very much is like this. Am I trusting in God or in myself and in others. Do I truly believe the things I proclaim. If I do how come I do the things that take little effort and the ones that take a step of faith and are literally life changing. How come I do not take the same brash steps in these. Of course I can speak loudly and even evangalize to those around me without a wink. Yes. This has become easy but the things that count. The step of faith that I am not so Good at. Do I trust God for these same things. Do I just go with the Status Q like everyone else. I fear that I will always if I do not choose to Concecrate myself. In other words I do not believe I will be able to make it in the Status Quoe this time around. THere is someone of more requirement. Something that I did not think I would have to do. Now I am at the bridge. Will I cross or turn? I think James will turn. On the other hand I know that the Jesus inside me will cross. I must allow myself to be fully him to get through this otherwise. I will surely perish. It is hard to say and many people who do not understand may even fear what I have just stated. But simply those without christ even those with Christ who do not trust in him will perish. The weight of this life is too heavy. We depend on things that unfortunatly will not lead us to eternal happiness. So many even forget the simplistic of things. I belive I have done this. Father God forgive me. I have realized that when in the Storm the Lord puts you in the Eye of the Storm. I leterally have watched people swept up by it and taken away. I very closly myself was there. Sometimes I feel like the Lord is not there but this last bout has only taut me one thing. Though we may think he is not there it is in the Storm that he is there the most. I sometimes wonder what it might be without him. I dread the thought. I know sometimes I might sound overly optimistic or sometimes even pessimistic. But what you must understand is that I do have trust in my Father in heaven but I am not so far from realism that I do not undertand that each and every step will be painful. Will take me all. Will require steps to be taken, situations to be overcome. Will require me to jump hurdels and will require loss and well as gain. I am not so religious not so out of touch as to think it is all roses. I know the task I have to taken does have an opposition. I know that many of the situations I go through are caused by my own mistakes and sometimes Donkey like attitude. I know one thing though. As long as this takes. My Father in heaven will come through and I will overcome all. I have been set here to do the will of my father and to learn and to teach. I know that I will go through much and much will be required. I am no different that everyone else. I require nothing special. I am just another Solider in this eternal war. Thousands. Millions have taken on the same task to show those who do not know. To teach those who do not understand a wisdom that I know nothing of. A love I cannot fathom a glory that cannot be undertood. The wonders of Jesus Christ The worlds Lord and Savior.