This Journey

I am writing this blog from a secret place. I know that sounds a bit mysterious but it all the better makes for a more interesting blog that it is. This is a blog of reality. Not that the others have not but I believe that this blog will show something of humanity that is inside of me.

I don't know why it is but perhaps you might be able to relate but when you are doing well isn't it a shame that we must always expect the worse to happen during these times. The worst in fact is when that insult comes from our family. I write this because of the 6 1/2 some odd years I have been saved it would seem that my most trials and opposition is from my family.

The even sadder part of this entry is that my family is extremely small. So that leaves me with very little after the fact. In actuality I believe it is why I have taken on the true understanding of the church as being my family because in actuality I really have none. I am the perfect canidate for the circus or world evangelism. Whichever comes first.

I must say it is disheartening and exhilarating all at the same time.. I recently was reading a book called "The Dream Giver" by Bruce Wilkinson where it is clear that our greatest obstacle in our walk of progress of of spiritual journey is our family and close friends.

The Paradox is the fact that in this Journey no matter how hard it may get we need to still have a heart of grace and love for those that persecute us. I think even though it has been hard God has indeed taught me this great lesson. No matter how long I stay or don't. It is very important that I have the same grace for others that he has given me.

In this journey that I pray will soon come to either an end of place of rest I ask a few questions for the Lord. I cannot say what those questions are but I can tell you that they are the reason for the journey. If the answers were so easy we could move on from here and go to the next thing but something tells me that is not what needs to be done here.

I am waiting to see what he wants me to do. But I do know this. It looks like we are in for some more increasing blog entries and more intimate times with God in this new season. I only pray my flesh can hold up to it. I am not feeling all too great. Our greatest attacks come when we are weakest. This gives God all the glory when we are triumphant. I am indeed sick, and tired if there ever was a time.

I remember one time speaking to Jose a close friend and Shepard of mine. He stated that our hearts grow weary when we get so far and are let down. Delay or causing delay makes us weary. When you are the cause to your own delay yes this is the case but when it is from things around you. I can only say this. It makes you much stronger. As dim as the light seems at this very moment. I know I will not remain in a darkened room that much longer.

God Thank you for This Test.