As much as I am excited there is something inside of me that I cannot quench.
It is the desire to do it on my own. In other words how much, when, where and frantic like.
Looking for direction. It's not honestly because I do not know the direction. I know the direction. It is more that I am afraid of what lies in the direction I must go. Like approaching a dangerous part of the jungle but knowing it is your only way out. You would rather at time wonder about the wrong direction to delay what you must do. This battle can be difficult. Sometime paralyzing.
Many times we forget that the battle has been won. Over sin, Over our lives and ultimately over our destiny. If that is what you would say. In Isiah. The lord says. I knew you when you were in your mothers womb I knew you.
5 "Before I formed you in the womb I knew [a] you,If the Lord knew us before we are born does not he also know use thereafter. After all the lousy decisions, after the storm of the war. God sees us as the Conquerer. Because this is how he made us. His children. We conquer with love, with grace and many times by war.
before you were born I set you apart;
I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."
Across the pages of the old testament we see battles that rages where even the young and innocent are slaughtered. The truth of all of this is that as much as we want to deny the truth of it. The clear picture is one that is spoken in Ecclesiastes.
So I reflected on all this and concluded that the righteous and the wise and what they do are in God's hands, but no man knows whether love or hate awaits him. 2 All share a common destiny—the righteous and the wicked, the good and the bad, [a] the clean and the unclean, those who offer sacrifices and those who do not.
As it is with the good man,
so with the sinner;
as it is with those who take oaths,
so with those who are afraid to take them.
3 This is the evil in everything that happens under the sun: The same destiny overtakes all.
It is a bleak picture that at first glance seems to have no real hope. No matter who we are or what we are there are the guarantees. There is one definite Guarantee. He will not leave or forsake us as well as the Guarantee of Salvation. This is something in this dreary and sometimes unfortunate world that we live in that you can bank on. God will be there. He is the overcomer. He is the ruler over all. As many times we feel our drama deserves the center stage. It is Gods purpose this is ultimately the most important. We do it Gods way and not always is clean, not always is it peaceful,not always is it what some might call a "Spiritual Decision" but it becomes a Godly one. our fallacy of thought comes when we take the warrior out of the God that we serve and place him with a peaceful and cute baby Jesus. If we do not see the Complete Jesus Christ in our lives we will tend to be weighted too far on either side. We must be balanced knowing we are making a decision out of Christ purpose and not our own. Then we will indeed know going into the battle that we win. If our heart is in Christ Jesus and we are walking the spirit we too like David can Claim the victory as being Christ alone and we won't take credit for our own kingship when and if we are promoted.