Toxic Relationships

Everyone enjoys the love and the Joy. The Blessings the Power and the Grace and the Mercy.  however many when it comes to the wisdom of God to make choices contrary to the standards of the world usually fall or fail to make those choices.  I myself am guilty of this.

Many times we have people speaking against us. In a manner that is not encouraging or changing but it destructive.  Sometimes the destructive realationship can sufficate the Gift that God has given you because your not "Smart Enough" "Thin enough"  "Strong Enough".  Funny to know that Moses was a man who was not skilled in his speech.  His was not articulate in his speech meaning that he possible stuttered when he spoke.  Which is why the Lord gave him Abraham to speak for him.  Interesting enough Gidieon was a considered to be a "Strong Warrior" when he was hiding in a nearby Cave in fear of battle.  Or David who's heart was a man's heart for God who commited adultery, murdered the husband in battle and covered it up.    My point is that contrary to what people might say these toxic relationship will destroy the plan that God has for your life because their voice sometimes for many is heard louder than the scriptures themselves.

We have to be very careful what Toxic relationships are doing to ourlives.  Toxic relationships can change our views.  Change our mindsets.  Change our goals and ultimatly lead us to destruction.  In gods wisdom his says that if your eye should cause you to sin then you should plug it out.  How much more a Toxic realationship. 

 

Using Negativity in a Positive way.

Though you may be asking why all the poems? many have inspired me.  Self inspiration is a powerful thing.  Though self sometime brings pain.  Introversion and many times depression when you reflect upon your lord and savior we do not need to loose our creativity but can hone that creativty and use it as a tool for kingdom purpose.  As you might have guessed from my journal entries I do enjoy writing.  As much as however I enjoy writing I do enjoy reading.  Recently I stumbled upon something that I know I have been doing but had no words to explain it.  Using the nagative things of this world as a positive catapult can be a task indeed but when you look through the eyes that Christ has given you we realize that through him.  yes "we can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens us but we can also know that "Good things  come to though who are in Christ jesus who are in his will and in his plan."  If we believe truly in him not just in his word but in him.  We truly will see miracles.  We sometimes want God to act quickly in our lives when we ourselves are creeking around like sloths.  I have just recently come to understand that spiritually I have been growing but in other things I have neglected.  Can one have one and the other.  I do believe we can.  My desire has been to seek a better understanding God his purpose and his kindom mindedness. To truly understand the concept of worship and therby be a better example of Christ in my own life.  Many times I fall short.   I look from the worlds persepective and see a man struggling and holding onto a dream ..air if you will.  However looking at it in a Kingdom perspective I see someone patiently understanding true purpose and waiting for his commands for his commanding officer.   If our lives on this world that Christ has given us was for no purpose then why would we be here?  His purpose is clear when the Lord says what his purpose is for us to be here.  If one was to Look at Paul today or any of the other deciples would they be looked favorably by todays standards.  No they woudl not.  Many of them left their flourishing business and families to follow Christ.  Someone today would say they were bums who left to follow the circus or left to follow some crazy man.  Leaving their business and families behind.  This indeed would not be a great picture.  However this Negative thing that would seem would be the only choice and today our choice when it comes to serving God.  Many times it is not our family..however sometimes it is our old lives, our habits, our bondages that we have fought over and over and simply for one reason.  We do not want to leave.  This man Jesus Christ would later bring healing.  Would later bring understanding and even controversy.  Many say that Christianity has caused many wars and battles.  Bloodshed.  However if you really research you will know that out of the thousands of people who were massacred that day in Jonestown.  There was not one Holy Bible found.  A man bent on his own vision.  Hios reflection was God but later became twisted by his own ideals.  Many people have done this.  I believe many people who have left Christ have also done this as well.  As well as those who have been called but are not answering.  Our own ideal of God is not even HALF as powerful as the truth found in the scriptures.  Never will there ever be a mans perception of God more miraculous more powerful and more true then that which is inscribed in the scriptures of the Holy Bible.

Here is what Paul Pleads
Ephisians 4:17  So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer
live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. 18. They are darkened in their understanding and seperated from the life of God becasue of the ignorace that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. 19. Having Lost all sensitivity so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more.
20.  You however, did not come to know Christ that way. 21. Surely you heard of him and were taught in him in accordance with the TRUTH that is in Jesus (Here is the key) 22. You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by it's decietful desires. 23. to be made new in the attitude of your minds; 24. to be made new in the attitude of your own minds; 24 and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteuosness and holiness.

Look and see that even as an intellectual or one who decides not to change their thinking and their past and their culture what Paul again warns.

Colossians 2:8
See to it that no one take you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and in basic principles of this world rather than on Christ.
9. for in Christ all the fullness of the Diety lives in bodily form, 10 and you have been given fullness in Christ who is the head over every power and authority. 

So with the Negative of the world comes basic understanding of their principles.  Though
being attacked, accused or any other type of attack or even their perception is skued by this.
The world is based on tradition.  Which is why is does not change. It sole reason to exist it not to change in is foundation.  Since traditon sets to the playing field for princliples, and behavior ANTI is the only thing that can get through.  So blatant disregard is the only allowable force now instead of change we have decay.

So simply by knowing Gods purpose and plan is our lives can we begin to realize that we have a higher purpose that does not appeal to the standards of the world.  Likewise our lives will not appeal as well always.  However if we are in the will of the Father like Paul and many other deciples we will have favor with God and Man.

Know this that when you have Nagativity coming against you for your choices or your life that many times it comes from the opposition of what God is doing in the lives of the people of this world.  We as people have been given the opportunity to bring that plan into full circle.  Literally Soldiers in a war.  Every war has an opposition.  Sometimes they can be our own families or friends. 

Stand tall and use the Negativity of others as your Catapult into a more succesful life that later will bring shame to those who did not know or understand.  And know that if there is a powerful force against you.  The will of the Father is being done.

I end today with this

PROV 14:12
There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death.

Faithful and Faithless

There is tale of much not said of those who cried and those who plead
of those who walked and those who marched
Of those who fought and held their ground.

There is a tale a brave and lost
of those who thought and then forgot.
Of those who knew but never walked
Of those of watched and never talked
Of those who heard and never listened
Of those who cried, but never spoke.

There is a tale of those who knew
The answer shown upon their hearts.
There is a tale of people lost
Of deadned minds came with a cost.
Of people choice but never made
Commitment never stayed.

The Faithful and the Faithless
Shall be forever known that one is one
and one cannot be another and be the other one.


-LFJ

Cries in the Wind

I walked another block today and heard a cry from along the way
in sadness I heard the cry of pain a suffering and lies of old bloody stains.

I turned around only to see people chasing after me.
Taunting, laughing, shouting aloud.
Obsenities, oblivious and proud.

I fell upon my knees and prayed that
shelter, comfort, love would stay.
I cried aloud again and said. "Lord help me in your special way"
"Deliver me Lord on this day"
"Open the heavens" hear my cry.
Again I heard no reply.
I prayed some more "Father do you hear?"
As On my knees I cried in fear.
"Lord do you hear me in my pain?."
"Do you hear me in my sorrow?".
Just then a burst a kind like voice
said..."Relax my child, there's always tomorrow."

-LFJ

More than Just Life

Today was an eye opening day.  I went to church as I usually do and a heavyness was about the air.  Something that was there but for some reason could not be lifted.   I fear to tell you that I did not pray for it to go away.  I knew that though it was heavy it was there for a reason.  There is a time in my life coming up where there will be things seriously required of me.  I knew this because the feeling is a level of urgency to get right in my life what needs to be right.  I have this level of weight that is on my shoulders that I believe is issues that have been left without taken a second look.  Perhaps there has been a missing link that I left long ago that I must pick up again.  I really am not sure all I know is that this life that God has called me to is more than Just life.  I is a life for others and not for myself.  Though my pain might be great at times it will show those around me who need something.  That yes even the lowly can acomplish all things through Christ.  I remember my Pastor told me that one day I had a poverish mentality.  A Mentality that kept me from the Glories of  God because I had no wish to spend money on important things.  This I traced back to my family life.  I have always been told to be frogul with my money for this I feared spending it and therefor did not and have not.  This mentatlity has not helped me in anyway.  One must spend money to make it.  Money however is not my goal now.  My goal is success.  Not to have a sucessful life.  For what success would I have if merly meant having a nice car, nice house and a happy family.   It would surly bring Joy to me.  NO!... My joy comes from that which I can give to others and from it GoD has abundantly given to me the things that really matter.  Money...No...Home...Not really...Car..kinda...These things are all what the world wants.  Many have this and lack another, some have both...they have been truly blessed.  However some just have one.  I have more than just life.  I have something so remarkable to explain it in words would be bragging and I wish not to do that.  What I do however want to say is that I really do not have much however I feel like the richest man in the world sometimes.  Many times that I do not think that I have I fret I am thinking my old way.  There is an undertanding that God has given me that cannot be replaced by money.  There is a faith that God has given me that cannot be replaced by money.  Here is the Kicker I know God want me to be something I know that God wants his people to be sucessful and even prosperpus.  However now is not my time.  Children with Silver spoons think it a game.  I do not want to be a Child of God playing a game I want to truly know how it feels to fight this battle.  I have and I am learning.  This is what Paul meant by with ever trial and tribulation he would praise the Lord.  For he knew the Great works God was doing.  This is not just me.  This is all believers and their trials.  All situations.  All pains.

Letter from an Unsaved Friend

My friend I stand in judment now
and feel that your to blame somehow

On earth I walked with you by day
But never did you show the way
You knew the Savior and truth and glory but never did you tell his story

My knowlegede then was very dim.
You could have led me safe to him
Though we lived together here on earth
You never told me of the second birth
And now I stand before eternal hell because of heavens glory you did not tell.

Solider In Training.

I have unfortunatly found myself stuck in a place I did not want to be.  However in what God wants I will deliever.  I have just sat through the teaching of Ray Comfort.  At least 2 hrs of Biblical Evangelism training and it is now. 5:07 AM.  I cannot understand as of yet if I am tired.  However I know for sure that I am excited to bring the Gospel of Jesus Christ to people.  I have realized that in my pain and in my sorrow and in my situations I too have forgotten the Great Commission.  I believe that I am called to be an evangalist. I do believe that despite my inequites and my situations that I have been called for this nobel thing.  The word of God calls it a Nobel task.  And the word of God also Calls ALL saint (those set apart) to be those who spread the Gospel.  I do not think I am special.  However as a Soldier in training I know my Sword is dull.  My helmet could use some shining.  By belt sometimes lets my briches fall down and my chest plate my need to be reordered via EBAY.  Not that I am not in shape but who can be ready?  It is a large world? Many problems?  Many issues?  How can I do this.  After listening I have realized that YES it is a great task.  However the task is not mine.  It is my Lord and Saviors.  I have been given the opportunity to be a part of it.  If he is all knowing?  All powerful?  What do I have to loose.  I am most defintly on the winning team.  If I win in one thing.  Let it be obedience.  For Obedience is better than Sacrafice.  If I am to win in anything I know that the sure way to win no matter what is to be on the team that makes and created the rules.  Father God where to now?  Still training but never too late to get my feet wet.

Thank You

Sometimes when things are very hard is it very difficult to see the light in the darkeness.  The Lord sometime wants us to look hard and long and see what it is we really have.  I thank the lord for brining me friends and a church family who has been there regardless of preference.  The Lord can only change people like that.  The art of caring can only be done when the person actually wants to care unconditionally.  This kind of care only the Lord can show and can administer to his people.  Thank you Lord for your purpose and your plan.  I am in a dark place right now and your light is so bright I just have to ignore the ploy of the enemy to have me focus on the negative instead of the positive.  I am alive,  I still have not turned from My father in heaven.  I have a roof over my head.  I still have my daughter and more importantly I have the Joy that only God can give to his people. Thank you, Thank You, Thank You.

Even when tears come I know that they are for a short while.  In eternity I will be jumping for joy singing songs and ready to serve as I am now regardless of the price that needs to be paid.

I had a painful headache yesterday where I could not sleep a wink.  I threw up in a toilet crying out to God to help.  I sometimes ask myself if it was not for the pain for the struggle and for the situations would I still cry out.  I honesty probably would not.  I am a vunerable man of God.  I will never quit.  I will never stop.  Those who have thrown accusations will feel shamed and those who have believed in me, their faith will be increased.  I know I can do this.  It just sometimes is harder for some.  I am no victim.  I am a soldier.  Soldiers cannot be victims.  I rufuse to quit though my body and my flesh wants to.  My spirit says.  Lord show me the way.

Thank you Lord for this Life.
Thank you Lord for My Daughter.
Thank you lord for the Body of Christ.
Thank you Lord for the Sprirt you have given me.
Thank you Lord for my Church
Thank you Lord for the Friends you have sent me.
Thank you Lord for my Life.
Thank you Lord for your Plan
Thank you Lord for Sustaining me.

Many people do no realize.  I guess because far too many of them have everything they want already but it the lowest of the Gods people who know what it means to have Grace, to have Mercy to have Love and to have his Blessings.  Even the Smallest of them recognize and know that all things come from Our Lord Jesus Christ.

We are the forbidden example of our acts.

While waking this morning "We are the forbidden examples of our Acts" Echoed through my head.  Upon hearing I asked myself.  What does this all mean?  What does forbidden mean?  what Example?  And whats acts.? I had to reflect on my Life in christ and even outside of Christ over 2 Years ago.  What ulimatly are we an example of in Life?  As I was told just recently you are acting like you don't believe?  At first I have to admit I was taken aback.  Me..?  Mr Christian boy pure and un touched.  yeah right! I actually felt this way.  But sometimes we need to really look and see what it is being said to us.  If I am a Christian and I live a life other than the example that God has given or if I feel as though I am special for any other reason other than I am a Child of God. Then Pride is the issue.  If I know this or the sin that inhibits me than action or taking action would be my issue.  I was even recently told today "It is always the same old story with you.  Sometimes people think you are a joke!"  That one hurt also.  But the word of we are an example of our forbidden acts or action brought all of it together.  What are we in christ if not an example for christ.  Can we be an example of Christ if we are doing the forbidden things that God has called forbidden.  Can we steal and be an example for christ.  Can we Lie. Can we Hate?  Can we commit adultry?  The answer is plainly no.  Do we do these things in our christian walk.? Yes we do.  But what ultimatly are we an example to the unsaved for what our most forbidden act is?  It is like when you get a white cloth and a speck of dirt shows from 10 feet away easily.  being purified by Christ makes our most forbidden of sin become our most prodominant part of our character.  This is what the scriptures say when we are told to guard our hearts closely so that we may not sin against our Lord God.  If we Believe and we know our Lord and savior do we not also know that our example will one day be taken account for?  We are not all perfect and Christ is all who has been perfect but the effort the faith to be like him must be exhibited in our lives otherwise what do the unsaved have to look to when the Saved are living, acting, talking and Disbelieving in the same way?

Again the Scar and the Suit....I am not happy during this time of my life. 

There is Gel at Mary's Birthday Party..Having fun trying to get Her Pinata...(Ok I am white) you know what i mean. 

It's a Package Deal

I am realizing just as things continue on in this life I have been given. Christianity in general is a package deal. We don't take one thing and leave the other.
Just recently while having a Potluck. I saw the body come together. Each of us with our own agenda However God made it his agenda for us to be there. Time was spent. Breakthrough and ultimately fellowship came. We sometimes think we can turn and turn off what God has given us when ultimately he is the Lord and has appointed us to live our lives free but slaves to his will. I said yes. When I said yes I say yes to all things. Not just to what pleases me. When the Body meets we meet. When the lord says go to the nations we go. Like a child looking to their father. We must learn to be obedient to his voice as well as his plan. Though we may not know his plan following his voice will ultimatly lead us to his plan.

My Wife and Her Friends. 

My Little Girl..The Little Misfit

My Little Girl ...Decked out in Punker Gear OI!!..Aww.. 

Back in the Days when I used to wear glasses and scar below my left eye...God has healed me in more than one way. 

More and More Rant Ahh and Pant :)

DoggieDude.com is a great Idea that I have collaborated witha great guy Luie and Jason and I am working on the site to finalize the flash images and sound. Check out the sporty hat!
It took awhile and still we are having issues but All things will get completed and be good.   Good Doggy!  Slurp! Slurp!
 
hey just cuz I'm a Christian does not mean I can't get a little wacky now and then...Okay maybe all the time or maybe more than I should... Opps...Okay gonna stop now. :)
 

More Rant

i mean it don't BREAK that!
Jason!  Stop.. Hold it right there!~ 

Friend (RANT)

Great Fun! Ohh and Jason keep playing cuz' you got spirit! (He plays better than me) ALOT! What is up with my haiR!? And be careful Jason you better not break that! 

Friend (Expose!)

It is great when the Lord brings you someone whom you can worship with someone whom you can share with, play and even work with.  Jason is that friend. Check out the stills from our last get together 

Shining Bright Even When Noone Is Around To See The Light.

We all appreciate the small times we are with the ones we love however God sometimes breaks in and says we are to love one another as I have loved you. (Thank you Nick for that one). Well yesterday evening I spent some time with Sally the mother of a friend of mine, I was astounded of the Joy that God had shown me. Her Salmon was great. A meal fit for a King. Also To speak with her and see the Glory that is god living in the lives of those who rarely can show their light to others. I realize sometimes that like Sally there are people who are hidden from the world but not from the face and the ear of God. Even when we cannot get out. If we are basically prisioners of our own home. Our own choices or of our own soul The lords sees through al andl sees the heart and will deliver us. Such Joy the Lord has brought me. In helping me understand the meaning of Shining bright even when noone is around to see the light.

Thank you again Lord for this great experience in taking part in your journey even when I am so wretched a man as I am!

She Looks Just Like Mommy...Minus the Tattoos.